Staircases and Tables

     I am running up a giant staircase in an old and empty house.  I guess it is more a mansion.  I am not familiar with this staircase because I usually take the stone ones.  I check plaques like I am at a museum.  I am racing against the clock so I can find a tv and set the DVR to record my show.  I finally get to a floor where there is a nice big tv.  I turn it on and set up the recording.  I hear from above me, "Well your punishment is going to be worse now."  I guess I've been caught.  I am conscious of the cook a few floors down in a different wing of the house.  It is the master of the house calling to me from upstairs.  I guess he didn't like me turning his tv on.  
     I climb the stairs and I hear my friends with him.  I climb the last gloomy stair well.  It looks somehow most Victorian of all.  The carpet is dusty and moldy.  The floors and walls seem extra dark and empty.  It looks sort of like Dracula's castle.  Halfway up the stairs I look and see my friends being forced to sleep on the floor.  They are bound to the attic floor by some kind of electricity.  I can see it like as in a cartoon.  The "rope" arcs all around them and binds them down. They look panicked but they seem more afraid for me than for themselves.  They aren't my friends at all, they are just the cast of Real World: Back to New Orleans.  Anyway I look and the master of the house is standing over them and looking down at me.  It is Meredith Baxter!  She motions for me.  I get angry and reach for the nearest thing I can use as a weapon.  I grab the stairrail.  I grip it with both arms and tear at it to get it loose from the stair and I guess I was extra pissed because the entire staircase breaks apart in front of me.  I can no longer reach the attic floor.  

     Meredith Baxter reaches down to me with a trombone.  I guess she was planning on playing annoying music at me, I couldn't say.  I grab the trombone by the slide and yank it out to use as a weapon against her.  She's disappointed.  But she then pulls out a table.  Not like a table made of wood but more like a print out from MS Excel. She hands it to me and I look at it and realize the bitch didn't even format it right.  That angers me most of all.  The labels on the table I can read just fine but some of the contents are just pound signs (#####) like when the column is too narrow to display the contents of the cell.  I hold up the sheet of paper to her to show her that I can't even read this thing.  As she leans down I use the trombone slide with my other hand and gouge into one of her eyes. It goes into the eye socket fairly easily.  So easily I just keep pushing and twisting the brass into her face.