I moved

Find me at Uncensored Dreams

Beaches and Idiots

I am at the beach. There are several female models there.  They have all been paired with swimsuit models from a previous generation.  I do not have anyone to mentor me.  Once the mentor models have left, the girls are wondering how much posing instruction they should be taking from their mentors.  We are all in the surf and feeling the waves hit us.  One girl wonders if we are allowed out of the water to pose.  She wants to call her mentor model and go over poses because she only reviewed the one pose with her.  One of the other models tells her she should be able to do it and that she herself is ready.  I pipe up and say "Girl, I don't even have a mentor but I'm ready with a hundred different poses in and out of the water.  You gotta come prepared."

Fashionistas and Subway trains

This dream made no sense at all so it was hard to recall.  There were several scenes that preceded this one with ramps and drizzling rain and leafless trees blowing in the wind but those parts I can't recall.  What I do recall is that Steupz from Bourgy.com was there. Seeing as I have never met him I did not get a good look at him in the dream.  I remember seeing him as though he was on the downtown subway platform across the tracks from the uptown tracks where I was. He had come with a crew of his people.  He was styled very nicely.  His crew of models or fashion people were well dressed too.  I recall thinking "I can tell he styled himself and his friends are wearing his clothes too." I guess I thought of him as a fashion designer.  It was men's wear, very cool.  Dark denims, leather and synthetics, thin silver chain accessories and accent scarves at the waist provided a needful color.  The overall effect was very current and moved as they milled around.  There was something particular to the cut and the details that made it rather a fashionable set of looks but I was a distance way and could not make it out.  
     He and his crew were there across on the other platform but with me on my platform were other people waiting for my dreams.  They were there to take my thoughts away in all different directions.  It was like they had showed up to help cart away my random distractions.  We were all just waiting there for the thoughts to come flooding in like a subway train.

Staircases and Tables

     I am running up a giant staircase in an old and empty house.  I guess it is more a mansion.  I am not familiar with this staircase because I usually take the stone ones.  I check plaques like I am at a museum.  I am racing against the clock so I can find a tv and set the DVR to record my show.  I finally get to a floor where there is a nice big tv.  I turn it on and set up the recording.  I hear from above me, "Well your punishment is going to be worse now."  I guess I've been caught.  I am conscious of the cook a few floors down in a different wing of the house.  It is the master of the house calling to me from upstairs.  I guess he didn't like me turning his tv on.  
     I climb the stairs and I hear my friends with him.  I climb the last gloomy stair well.  It looks somehow most Victorian of all.  The carpet is dusty and moldy.  The floors and walls seem extra dark and empty.  It looks sort of like Dracula's castle.  Halfway up the stairs I look and see my friends being forced to sleep on the floor.  They are bound to the attic floor by some kind of electricity.  I can see it like as in a cartoon.  The "rope" arcs all around them and binds them down. They look panicked but they seem more afraid for me than for themselves.  They aren't my friends at all, they are just the cast of Real World: Back to New Orleans.  Anyway I look and the master of the house is standing over them and looking down at me.  It is Meredith Baxter!  She motions for me.  I get angry and reach for the nearest thing I can use as a weapon.  I grab the stairrail.  I grip it with both arms and tear at it to get it loose from the stair and I guess I was extra pissed because the entire staircase breaks apart in front of me.  I can no longer reach the attic floor.  

     Meredith Baxter reaches down to me with a trombone.  I guess she was planning on playing annoying music at me, I couldn't say.  I grab the trombone by the slide and yank it out to use as a weapon against her.  She's disappointed.  But she then pulls out a table.  Not like a table made of wood but more like a print out from MS Excel. She hands it to me and I look at it and realize the bitch didn't even format it right.  That angers me most of all.  The labels on the table I can read just fine but some of the contents are just pound signs (#####) like when the column is too narrow to display the contents of the cell.  I hold up the sheet of paper to her to show her that I can't even read this thing.  As she leans down I use the trombone slide with my other hand and gouge into one of her eyes. It goes into the eye socket fairly easily.  So easily I just keep pushing and twisting the brass into her face.

Hair cuts and Sisters

I just remember standing in front of a large window at night looking at my reflection.  My sister is there and she says the way my hair is cut is all wrong.  I was loving my hair but I guess she has a better vantage point.  So I run my fingers through my hair and shake it out.  It is how I asked for it to be done, short underneath but with long cascading straight hair past my shoulder blades.  It is also honey blonde and brown underneath.  My sister takes her scissors and starts to texturize the ends which were cut ruler straight.  She adds dimension to my hair.  I tell her to make sure she doesn't add to much volume.

Friday Archives: The birds and the bees

I had this dream where my boyfriend and I are looking to photograph some birds hatching.  This guy says he is videotaping some of his birds hatching and we could take pictures if we like.  So we go into the room to take photos.  There are two nests and two adults birds.  They are big like condors or maybe they should be called vultures.  We look into the nests and the birds are already hatched.  There are two chicks in each nest.  We are sort of disappointed.  My boyfriend was more excited about taking the pictures so I was disappointed for him.  Anyway, I notice that the birds don't look quite right and realize that the chicks have the heads of bees.  Black bee heads like a giant honey bee head attached to a chick's body.  They're gross and weird and scary.  I guess I was examining them too close because one of the adult birds starts to approach me.  I back away and grab a chair.  I hold the chair up in front of me to keep the bird at a distance.  It starts to push against the chair.  And I start to sort of panic but I don't dare look away.  I start yelling for my boyfriend to help me and then I wake up.

Publish Post

Monsters and Girls

     We are in the woods.  There are several of us guys outside the car and four girls sitting in the back seat of this big jeep.  I don't know how they fit in there.  We are waiting for some monster to reveal itself.  One of the girls starts screaming.  I look and there is this stuff falling out of the trees above them.  I get closer and see that it is maggots and rotting flesh.  The girls scramble out of the car.  A few of us guys get to pushing the car out of the way. I look behind me and there is the giant monster.  It has huge boxing gloves on.  We push the jeep out of range as much as possible because the monster seems to be getting ready to fire his gloves at us.  We push it and I get my hand on the steering wheel and maneuver the car out of range.  I look behind us as he fires his monster sized gloves at us.  They fly right above the car and land in the rocky hills ahead.  I tell the guys that we should go after the gloves.  

     We leave the truck on top of a hill and go searching for the gloves. One guy finds a glove and I find the other.  I start to tear it apart. No one will help me tear the gloves apart.  Then I realize Jake is missing.  We call out to him but the last time I saw him he went running for the gloves over the hill.  I tell everyone he probably ran off.  I know he is easily scared because one time when it looked like we might get arrested he was ready to put all the blame on me and run away.  The other guys seem to know what I'm talking about.  We look over to where the monster was. The girls seem to be out of hiding.  They are actually paying our tab at the restaurant.  The hostess tries to seat us but I tell her we're with them.  The ladies just talk about how one of the customers has a nice sweater and how nice it would've been if they'd brought their own.  I want to ask about the monster but they don't seem to remember it at all.

Bicycles and Shoot outs

     I am riding my bike through my neighborhood.  Except it is not the neighborhood I know.  There are some kids having a gun fight by the park.  I turn my bike around and start riding away from them.  Apparently I am being chased.  They must think I saw something.  I ride and ride and turn to try to lose them.  I hear my pursuers behind me asking me to stop and talk.  I'm scared though so I just keep riding.  They want to see my cell phone.  I decide to tuck my cell phone under a bridge when I am sure they can't see me.  I ride and ride and eventually I am cornered in a bathroom.  They have a gun to me.  One of them just wants to blow me away the other asks if I have a cell. I tell them I am too poor to have one.  Meanwhile I wish I had recorded something and mailed my phone to the police so these guys would get caught.  But I didn't even see anything to record.  They hold a gun to me.  So I tell them that it is rude of them to just kill me without even making me a deal.  Also I tell them I didn't even see anything.  I'm hoping these guys get caught.  Having a gun held to me somehow makes me more daring as if I have nothing to lose. The one without the gun asks me if I have time during work.  I get the feeling he wants me to sell drugs.  I tell him sure, but in my head I am moving to Chicago.

Drunk dudes and Stoners

    I am staying in a dorm with my boyfriend.  I decide I want to get high.  It is college after all.  So I smoke some weed.  I am high, as I stumble my way down the hall to the bathroom.  I pee and pee and pee for what seems like an eternity.  I realize at some point that I was missing my urinal completely and I was using the one next to me which is made doubly weird because the urinals are in stalls and all the stalls are occupied.  So I finish and stumble back down the hall.  I can't remember the name of my room or the number for that matter.  Each door is decorated like a kind of candy shop.  I remember mine some how and I go in.  Then I have the brilliant idea of looking at my door so I can remember the store name for next time. It says "Deb's Hotchles" or something like that.  

     As I am closing the door some drunk dude appears.  He leans on the door so that we are talking in my doorway. He asks me if I am North Korean.  I just stare at him in disbelief that this is his pick up line.  He makes a move to go but I ask him if he is in any of my classes.  He just looks so familiar.  I think he is black but it is hard to tell what he looks like because the lights are off in my dorm room.  He says "Grease." I say huh?  He says "Grease, like the musical. Dude they love exotic looks in movies."  I give him another blank stare.  At this point I am thinking I smoked way too much weed to be having a conversation with a drunk dude.  I realize he is trying to hit on me.   I say "See you around." and move to close the door on him, but he pushes in because he wants to talk to me.  So I tell him "I got a boyfriend and he will break you if he find you here!"  His friends show up and pull him out into the hallway again. He is just mumbling "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!"

Notebooks and Tools

My mother has decided that we need to all get up because she is sending us to Japanese school.  It is so annoying because this would be only the second class for me to attend this semester.  I tell her I can't understand what's going on in those classes.  They might as well be speaking French or Russian to me.  My mom just thinks I am being cute.  She ships us off.  My sister drives my brother and me to school.  We get there and I realize I don't even know what my class schedule is supposed to be.  I find a friend and we go to class and miraculously it seems familiar.  A friend shows me her notebook and I find a note written by me with a date in it.  I use that as a guide to help me find my course schedule in my BlackBerry.  But the class begins and I can't look anymore.  The teacher takes attendance but doesn't want the student to raise their own hand he wants people who have witnessed the person to do it.  He calls people out and my name too.  I relax a little realizing that I am in the right class.  I pull out the notebook I had packed and realize that there are no empty pages left. I pull out my pens and realize that they are all out of ink or broken.  

     The kid behind me leans over the back of my chair.  He gives me a dirty look. He breaths hard. He is trying to harass me. He is even wearing an insultingly Asian character t-shirt. He thinks he is being ironic but he is being offensive.  I tell him to fuck off.  He wants to bully me but I won't have it.  How old am I in this dream anyway?  Then he acts offended.  I think he is a fool that this disappointed because I wasn't the easy target he thought I was.  There is a quiet tension between us as he pushes on my chair and I push back even harder.  I am not afraid to get into "trouble."  I decide I can't stay in class.  The bell rings and everyone leaves and I realize that I am ditching the rest of this day. I'm too old for fucking school.

Coyotes and Corgis

I wake up and I see that it is 11:14 but I can't tell if that is AM or PM.  I turn the light on and look around the room.  There's a small coyote dog in my room.  It looks like a mix between a corgi and a coyote.  It looks like a wild dog with short legs and mange.  It bites into the knuckle of the middle finger on my right hand.  I grab its muzzle with my left hand and grab its jaw with the rest of my right hand and pull it off my knuckle.  I twist so that its jaw breaks.  Its face looks goofy and sort of pathetic.  It runs off.  I look at my hand and aside from a little tightness in the knuckle my hand is fine.  The thing didn't even break the skin.  I get up and look for some slippers but I realize that there are none that fit me.  I think about how I had allowed some guests to sleep over.  Perhaps it was the morning then since no one is sleeping over now.  I get out to the living room checking the hall bathroom to make sure that the thing hadn't run in there.  I see it walking around the living room.  There is sunlight and it looks like early morning.  I go to the front door and the coyote seems to know what I am doing.  I open the door and it just runs right outside.  My mother is there I guess she saw me let the coyote out.  I tell her that they are vermin.  And I tell her that I often find one or two of them in the house when I wake up in the middle of the night.  She asks me what I do when I find them.  So I tell her quite casually that I either kill them or break their jaw depending on my mood.

DL boys and Obi knots

     This dream is going to make it seem as though I get hit on all the time. I don't.  My mother, my sister, my niece and I  are at a Japanese festival. My mother had insisted that we all find yukata to wear.  So there we all are wearing all this stuff.  The women look great but me?  I am wearing this drab dark colored robe with an obi I can't figure out. So I just sort of knot it temporarily behind me.  I am walking around and randomly someone we barely know decides to take it upon themselves to redo my obi knot.  I am sort of glad to get it done right, but a little embarrassed.  We decide to get in some lines to buy some food or look at some neat stuff.  We are in an area of the matsuri that is full of mostly people in my mother's generation. My mother s having a blast talking to random people about everything.  Everybody else is very dressed up too.  My niece for some reason knows a lot of puns.  Every time we tell her to do something she does something else.  It's like when you tell a kid to stop running around and they decide to run in a square.  For some reason I don't catch these puns, but my sister does and is not amused.  (She's sort of amused). 
     While waiting in line, someone else comes up behind me to redo my obi again.  I am sort of surprised and also I am not sure who this guy behind me is.  He asks me if I did it myself calling me by name.  I sort of start to recognize his voice. At least he knows who I am.  As he is finishing up the knot behind me he lingers and the back of his hand brushes my butt a little.  I quickly turn around and see this kid I know.  He is totally Japanese and totally DL with a girl friend and everything.  He looks at me in a longing way. I can't date him though he is cute and all.  He is sort of athletic and has this beauty mark on his right cheek that just accentuates his smile.  But I think he is just fixated on me because he doesn't know any other gay guys.  I do not want to talk to him in front of everyone so we walk some ways away from people.  I lead him around a corner and point to a stairwell.  We even take different ways to get down the stairs.  At the bottom of the stairs I realize the person who had followed me was not him but his sister.  Great! She wants to date me too and asks me what's going on between her brother and me.  I had been avoiding being alone with her all night.  When we are alone and I tell her I can't date her because I'm 100% gay and I have a boyfriend.  She sort of just says oh.  Then asks me if I wrote her brother those emails.  I'm not sure what she's talking about and I don't want to out her brother so I try to move on.  I tell her that her hair is beautiful.  It is sort of color treated and long the effect is very cool and cute on her.  I'm complimenting her hair not in a flirty way but in a girlfriend way.  She seems to finally get it.

Friday Archives: Cottages and Murder

     The first part I remember is standing with my arm wrapped around my young (maybe high school age) black boyfriend's waist.  He's really cute but kind of shy.  He doesn't look like a teenager at all actually.  We're in one of his classrooms.  There are desks and a chalkboard and everything.  There are a few people mingling around.  One of them is a teacher (or a professor) and she's a large black lady with very judgmental eyes.  My boyfriend tenses up in my arm.  And I'm not sure if he's reacting to the race thing, the age thing or the gay thing.  But I feel fine and happy and I think I even lean in to kiss him.  Then I turn around and something else happens that I can't remember.  

     All the desk to the far end of the class are turning into little cottages as I walk through the class.  And at the cottages in front of them are bridesmaids and groomsmen.  They're standing there looking all in the same direction like they're waiting for the bride.  And at every house and even at random places like grave stones there are these bridesmaids and groomsmen.  It was weird and felt very much like I was not welcome there.  So I move on down the road.  As I am walking on one side is a field and on the other is this dark forest.  Something else happens but I can't remember it.

     I am moving through the forest as a bird.  Except I'm more like a swan or a pheasant or a magenta cartoon bird.  Anyway I am flying through the forest that is now actually a swamp and I can't find a clear place to fly out through the canopy.  So I just follow the road and fly as far as I can.  I get to this place where the road ends and there's a river on one side and a rock wall on the other.  I'm examining the plants that make up the canopy and they look like they're full of helium or something only they have these vines all wrapped around each other and to the trees.  So I can't actually get through.  Then something else happens.  

     I fly back the way I came and end up in the same dead end.  This time there's a metal bunker or something and I land on that.  I see a few guys in uniform mingling around the bunker.  They have bright shiny swords and one of them is Tom Cruise or looks like him from the Valkyrie ads.  I turn into a little girl in a magenta dress and I am scared of these guys.  When they spot me they point their swords at me and I know they're going to kill me.  Only they shoot their guns that I didn't even see them holding.  I feel the bullets hit my stomach and legs and chest.  I feel them stab me with their swords.   The entire time that I'm being shot and stabbed I am trying to wake up from the dream but I just keep opening my eyes inside the dream.  One of the guys (a younger guy) leans in to check if I'm breathing.  I'm panting into his face.  It's pretty horrible.  They're content that I won't survive and enter the bunker.  I feel myself gurgling up blood and spitting it out and I'm still just this little girl in a blood colored dress.  It was pretty horrible and gruesome.  I roll myself over and try to get up and climb the mountain but realize I can just wake up instead.

Vegeta and Tibetan Monks

Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z is walking through as series of sliding doors that lead through some dingy bathrooms.  He is looking for his teammates.  They are inside doing what they need to do to impress the building in order to gain entry.  I see their faces close together and sweating.  It looks and sounds like they are doing it but as I zoom out I see that they are just seated in Buddhist monk robes. (Orange like Tibetan monks). They are seated next to each other and in deep meditative trances.  As I pan across the room I see monks playing basket ball.  Next to that is a terminally ill woman lying on her deathbed (futon on the floor) with plastic tubs coming out of her.  A small boy also looking ill and with the same tubes is on top of her.  It looks like they're having sex except there is a stack of novelty sized checks between them as well as the blankets and the fact that they are both fully dressed in Asian style clothes.

Robots and Espionage

     I am an artificial intelligence.  I am just a pair of arms moving around like a spider. I am sneaking in to help free someone.  The enemy/alien center is disguised as a tech research facility.  At some point of me sneaking around this facility I find a stash of broken robot parts.  I use them to add to my own body and I end up as a four armed spider bot.  It's time for me to break out of here.  My target has already escaped on his own and is headed to Alaska with the super power source so I must head there too.  I sneak out of the robot part trash area.  A guard peers into the room he looks like a gray robot humanoid with vertical striping patterns that covers his entire body even the unrecognizable face.  He doesn't notice me clinging to the shadowy walls.  I wait a bit and push the door.  I run down the hall.  I see the several of the same looking guards walking the halls.  I shove one of them in the torso, knocking him down.  I jump to the balcony and swing myself using my webbing to the window.  I grab a curtain and slide down to the ground. I avoid the shots of lasers and gun fire as the alarm sounds.  I scurry to toward another window. It's tinted but I can see the main parking lot.  I don't know where the doors are so I just run right through the window shattering it as I go.  I run through the parking lot where floating robot guards are stationed.  They roll menacing looking balls my way.  I jump them or use my webbing to stop them.  When I get to the street there are even larger disk shaped floating guards.  They also shoot lasers and balls my way.  I use my webbing to block their visual areas and the exit hatches for the balls.  I run through the traffic and head up through to the nearest airport to catch a flight to Alaska.

Squirrel-coons and near incest.

   There was a storm last night. One of the four giant three story metal lanterns that hang from the four beech trees in the yard has fallen during the night.  Its metal frame is hanging in the branches of one of the other beech trees.  The forest creatures are going crazy. I see them running around in a panic.  They are talking about getting everyone to a temporary shelter.  Yes, apparently I can understand the animals.  The lantern that fell was home to these little raccoon/squirrel looking clan of animals.  They are very light and fluffy looking and much smaller than raccoons.  They turn to their leader for advice.  He is the blue one with the extra long ears.  The other forest residents are asking him what they can do.  He says that many lives were lost in the night but they must press on.  They gather in the yard and talk. I feel terrible and go inside to see what's going to be done.  


   Inside it seems my mother is going to call someone to remove the lantern from the branches of the beech tree. I figure that is a good start.  I am hanging out in the back room.  I am suddenly very exhausted and lie down on the bed next to this guy.  He's my step brother and he is not at all like me.  We have these weekly family meetings where we're essentially forced to listen to bull shit. I tune it out so all I remember is how hot my step brother is. He has jet black hair parted in the middle running down to nearly his shoulders.  His skin is tanned not from the tanning bed but more like he's at least part Hispanic.  He is sort of muscular, more from being athletic than working out.  Right now he is face down on the bed without a shirt on in nothing but his tight blue jeans.  I roll over on the bed and our skin touches.  Soon enough we're making out and I notice the top button of his jeans are undone.  He asks me what I want from the meetings but all I can think about is how I can maneuver my lips around his cock so I say, "To get sweaty." He grins and says that's not what we meant. As I am admiring his abs I see from the corner of my eye that there is a woman half asleep on the other side of the slightly open door. It is Mamacita from Real Chance of Love 2.  She is lying on a cot with her long black hair.  I whisper to my step brother that Mamacita is right there.  We both know that she has a big mouth and with my step brother being "straight" and all we stop making out.  It sort of bothers me that he's not out but it's also sort of hot that I'm the only guy he's been with.  We talk about what will be done for the squirrel-coons out back.  He says nothing.  I guess because they can't talk to animals the way I can the rest of my family just does not care about their fate the way I do.  I get up and look for my clothes. I contemplate looking for my phone so I can tell my real life boyfriend that I kissed a guy while playing a character in dream but then I can't find my phone.


     I leave the room and go to look for my shoes.  I realize that all my shoes and change of clothes are in my car in the front yard.  One of my nephews wants to know if I am going to go sit for my party soon. He is excited and has made a place specifically for me.  He says that the bagel candies are very good and I see one on my place setting. He is very excited but I tell him that I can't stay.  Everyone seems to be too busy with party plans to worry about the catastrophe outside.  I find some sandals and borrow those.  I am determined to go to home depot or somewhere where I can buy a large enough doll house or playhouse that can house the squirrel-coons.  I don't care if I have to pay $4,000 I would do it for them.  So I leave the house.  It looks like an ice storm out there.  There is flooding in the driveway and ice everywhere.  I look at the neighbor's fence and see a pair of mens shoes sticking out from underneath.  It looks like a dead body at first but then I realize it is just a pile of black men's dress shoes.  I go to my car and see my brother getting things out of the back seat while a limo tries to get around him.  I tell him to get out of the way so the limo can pass.  He tries instead to just stretch over it because it happens to be a tiny version of a limo.  I look and I see a small one person vehicle that looks like a small version of the front half of a car. It is driving on a particularly badly iced and flooded section of the driveway and not getting enough traction.  I go over and help by moving the little half car out of the icy patch with just my hands.  The driver is an architect.  His partner comes over to thank me. He's been to my mother's house before to help her figure out how to fix it up.  I can hardly hear him though over the noise. I don't even know where the noise is coming from.  But we walk a little to get away from the sounds and he tells me that he was disappointed not to be able to fix my mother's place up.  He says he told his partner about the house and he was devastated by how out of date it is.  I told him that my mother is a retired teacher and that there is no way she can afford a major renovation right now.  He pulls me aside and says "I'll show you a teacher's house there's one over there." He points to a playground where I assume he is referring to the children playing teacher. I'm confused.

Messages in Windows

     My boyfriend and I are taking a little vacation. We rent a hotel room in the city for a few days.  Several of us are staying in the same hotel.  These rooms seem really nice.  I have a huge window, the type you see in movies.  I am hanging out and sort of groggy when my boyfriend takes me to the window.  He is looking for something to show me but then there's someone blocking our view.  He says that he got a call from one of ours friends that lives nearby. Apparently he has put some sort of message on his window for us to see.  Unfortunately, there is no way we can see out of our window right now.

     My boyfriend and I find ourselves driving around the neighborhood. I can't see what is so important about this message in this guys window that we need to drive around looking for it.  I look down and realize that some how I left my hotel in nothing but my boxer briefs.  It wouldn't really be a big deal if not for all the marbling in my skin.  Across my torso and my legs there is this chocolate colored swirling patterns that is so bad that it covers a good 50% of my right side.  It is as though I'm made of marble rye or something.  I'm annoyed because the marbling moves around daily and today the effect is pretty striking.  I realize that we need to walk through the hotel lobby nearly naked.  My boyfriend drives the car right into the lobby of the hotel and leaves it and me there.  I assume that he is headed to the elevator.  I get to the nearest elevator I can find.  There are lots of people around but they don't seem to take any notice of me or the way I look.  By the time I get to the elevator the doors are closing.  I curse myself for getting the penthouse (8th floor) room.  As I wait for the elevator to return I notice there are two letters acid etched into the elevator frame.  It says "NM". And all around the elevator it looks are though people have guessed at what those letters might stand for.  Nora's Mom, Neat Mom, Negligent Moos etc..  I am about to think of my own guesses when a few young guys come up to wait for the elevator. They look sort of like drunk college guys on spring break.  They make a comment about how the elevator is not looking like it is coming down.  They tell one of their friends '"If you want to wait here that's fine". This guy apparently is so wasted that he is just standing there staring at me. When I turn around to look at him I realize that I've also been staring at the graffiti for a while in front of a non-functioning elevator.  Damn.  Then I sense this guy standing next to me is lingering here because I am in my underwear and I am suddenly very self-conscious.

     I recall that we left the car is just sitting in the lobby.  I hope that the hotel staff will be able to figure out that it is mine by the license plate but I know that is not how valet service work.  So I go to the concierge desk and I tell them I left my car in the lobby.  The woman behind the desk comes around and asks me if it was a Ford 40. I tell her I have no idea about cars.  We move toward the lobby and we don't see any cars there. It looks like someone must have moved it.  I feel like maybe I look stupid right now asking this woman to help me find my car in the lobby while I stand there with my marble rye body in nothing by boxer briefs.  I grab a tissue off her desk to wipe my nose and realize that all of her tissues are cut into little triangles which are barely usable.

Friday Archives: I guest starred in NPH's dream

I was riding a subway only it was like a row of park benches with crazy homeless guys talking paranoid crap.  I was with Neil Patrick Harris and we were riding uptown.  We turn to this woman and ask her what the next stop is and she is all incoherent.  But she says to watch out for the last stop because there is a kink in the track.  Anyway we end up going way downtown.  I don't think we're even in NYC anymore because it looks like some muddy part of NJ.  The train U-turns and is going back the way we came again.  The lady we were talking to suddenly decides to jump off the train.  I'm freaking out because I think she's killed herself but then I realize she just fell into the mud.  She's fine but covered in mud.  Then the dream gets weird.

The train is winding down in this meadow and Neil Patrick Harris and I are standing there and I say "Don't you know what I symbolize yet?  I'm your conscience."  Which is weird because it's supposed to be my dream.  He gets upset or frustrated or something because suddenly the meadow fills with water.  I guess it is his dream because his mood is affecting the setting.  Everyone from the train including Neil Patrick Harris and I are swimming around and I see this shadow rise out of the water.  It looks like a sea monster or an elephant or something.  Then right in front of us I see this orange thing coming to the surface.  It turns out to be a set of these Alien monsters but with something like crab shells attached to them all red as if the crabs had been cooked.  And then we swim for it because they look pretty frightening.  We swim for this fence and I'm fighting to make a tear in the fabric of the fence.  Which is weird because I'm tearing at it by getting underneath it and to the other side.  So I realize that I'm already through to the other side of the fence and run for the hills.  That's when I wake up.

Time Out.

     I am at home with my mother and little sister. Not my real family of course but in the dream it felt real.  My little sister is about 8 or 11 years old (like I could tell the difference) and she's wearing a blue skirt/jumper type outfit that looks very retro to me.  She has two blonde pig tails sort of like Sailor Moon.  We're in the living room and there's a rack with hooks like those you see in stores.  From the rack hang shrink wrap packaged chicken of all sorts as well as other groceries.  Apparently it is refrigerated.  It's an open refrigerator system I guess.  
     Our mother is busy distracted by television or something and I watch as my little sister goes behind her back and starts tearing the chickens off the hooks and rubbing her face into them.  I grab the chickens away from her right away. I'm sure I yelled something like "What are you doing?!"  I look at the chicken and the packaging is torn and the chicken won't be able to be hung up again.  Another piece had an actual indentation from her mouth but the chicken was fine.  I returned the chicken that was still intact.  I looked at my sister and told her to get on the carpet. The carpeting is a nice bright Caribbean blue color.  I get her face down on the carpet and tell her to stay there until she calms down.  I am giving her a face down time out.  I keep my hand on the small of her back to make sure she stays put.  She is crying in protest and ready to struggle.  Our mother turns around and finally notices what's happening.  Her response is to get a pillow for my sister.

Cockblocked

I am in an attic bedroom. And I am sleeping in because I think my boyfriend is going to drive me to work. But then he comes in and he is just looking at me in a weird way. I ask him if he will still drive me and he doesn't answer. Also it seems to be raining in the room now. I get annoyed with him not answering me and I tell him "Fine! I'll get there myself even if I have to walk there in the rain!" I leave the bedroom and go to the spacious bathroom to pee. As I am standing at the toilet peeing my bf comes up behind me and we start having great sex. At first he's rubbing against me and I'm realize he's not in the right spot. So I guide him to the right area. After that though it's smooth sailing. There's some "I want you inside me" type talk and it's pretty smoking hot standing-in-the-bathroom sex.

Then I hear my fucking co-worker. He's in the bedroom. He's looking for me to ask me something. I suddenly remember that the lock to the bathroom door is broken. Perhaps from when my bf came in or perhaps that's just how he managed to get in. I see my co-worker pushing at the door and I quickly get over there to hold it shut. I tell him that I'm in the bathroom and to go away. Then suddenly I turn around and there is another co-worker in the room. She is looking for something even though she already has something in her hand. I'm completely annoyed because I have a shirt on but otherwise I'm just not dressed. So I decide to sit down, lubed up as I am and just wait until we have some privacy again. I go through my suitcase of clothes but really I'm just waiting to be alone when I wake up and realize I have to really go to work.

Sharing a FlaVorIce

     So I am walking just a short walk around the green of park. I take a path and then get back to where my sisters and their families are waiting in the grass for me.  They seem sleepy because they do not see my dad walking right passed them.  He is walking next to this Asian woman.  She seems like maybe she just immigrated to America. She is playing shy and coy as she offers him some of her FlaVorIce (I love those things and have them in my freezer constantly.).  Her FlaVorIce is cherry red.  She is wearing an orangish number that looks sort of out of date.  As I walk passed them they sort of keep an awkward distance from each other.
      There's a beautiful green park all around me.  The path that I happen to be on cuts into the middle of a grassy field circled with lovely green trees.  The scene reminds me almost of a farm or a conservatory.  I get to my sisters and sit down in the grass with them. They didn't see my dad walk passed them because they are all drowsy and some of them are even snoring.  I turn around and see my dad and his "friend" walking away. I think "No one is going to believe this." So I grab my phone to take a picture but the thing stalls and won't get into camera mode quickly enough.  I curse my glitchy BlackBerry and throw it into the grass.  As I watch my dad grabs the woman's hand and leads her with him to his left following the path I had just taken.  The trees surrounding the field block most of my view of them but I can still see their flirty body language through breaks in the trees.

Tigers

So I don’t quite remember the dream. But what I do remember was that there was a picture of a tiger in my dream. There was a group of people looking at the picture of a tiger and then from behind them I see a real tiger come around slowly approach them. I said “There’s a real tiger!” But the thing was the “real” tiger sort of looked stuffed like a down syndrome Tigger and he’s already a bit slow already so... Oh, and the tiger was lemon yellow with chocolate stripes and he moved very slowly on nubby looking paws.

Baku

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baku_%28spirit%29