Robots and Espionage

     I am an artificial intelligence.  I am just a pair of arms moving around like a spider. I am sneaking in to help free someone.  The enemy/alien center is disguised as a tech research facility.  At some point of me sneaking around this facility I find a stash of broken robot parts.  I use them to add to my own body and I end up as a four armed spider bot.  It's time for me to break out of here.  My target has already escaped on his own and is headed to Alaska with the super power source so I must head there too.  I sneak out of the robot part trash area.  A guard peers into the room he looks like a gray robot humanoid with vertical striping patterns that covers his entire body even the unrecognizable face.  He doesn't notice me clinging to the shadowy walls.  I wait a bit and push the door.  I run down the hall.  I see the several of the same looking guards walking the halls.  I shove one of them in the torso, knocking him down.  I jump to the balcony and swing myself using my webbing to the window.  I grab a curtain and slide down to the ground. I avoid the shots of lasers and gun fire as the alarm sounds.  I scurry to toward another window. It's tinted but I can see the main parking lot.  I don't know where the doors are so I just run right through the window shattering it as I go.  I run through the parking lot where floating robot guards are stationed.  They roll menacing looking balls my way.  I jump them or use my webbing to stop them.  When I get to the street there are even larger disk shaped floating guards.  They also shoot lasers and balls my way.  I use my webbing to block their visual areas and the exit hatches for the balls.  I run through the traffic and head up through to the nearest airport to catch a flight to Alaska.

Squirrel-coons and near incest.

   There was a storm last night. One of the four giant three story metal lanterns that hang from the four beech trees in the yard has fallen during the night.  Its metal frame is hanging in the branches of one of the other beech trees.  The forest creatures are going crazy. I see them running around in a panic.  They are talking about getting everyone to a temporary shelter.  Yes, apparently I can understand the animals.  The lantern that fell was home to these little raccoon/squirrel looking clan of animals.  They are very light and fluffy looking and much smaller than raccoons.  They turn to their leader for advice.  He is the blue one with the extra long ears.  The other forest residents are asking him what they can do.  He says that many lives were lost in the night but they must press on.  They gather in the yard and talk. I feel terrible and go inside to see what's going to be done.  


   Inside it seems my mother is going to call someone to remove the lantern from the branches of the beech tree. I figure that is a good start.  I am hanging out in the back room.  I am suddenly very exhausted and lie down on the bed next to this guy.  He's my step brother and he is not at all like me.  We have these weekly family meetings where we're essentially forced to listen to bull shit. I tune it out so all I remember is how hot my step brother is. He has jet black hair parted in the middle running down to nearly his shoulders.  His skin is tanned not from the tanning bed but more like he's at least part Hispanic.  He is sort of muscular, more from being athletic than working out.  Right now he is face down on the bed without a shirt on in nothing but his tight blue jeans.  I roll over on the bed and our skin touches.  Soon enough we're making out and I notice the top button of his jeans are undone.  He asks me what I want from the meetings but all I can think about is how I can maneuver my lips around his cock so I say, "To get sweaty." He grins and says that's not what we meant. As I am admiring his abs I see from the corner of my eye that there is a woman half asleep on the other side of the slightly open door. It is Mamacita from Real Chance of Love 2.  She is lying on a cot with her long black hair.  I whisper to my step brother that Mamacita is right there.  We both know that she has a big mouth and with my step brother being "straight" and all we stop making out.  It sort of bothers me that he's not out but it's also sort of hot that I'm the only guy he's been with.  We talk about what will be done for the squirrel-coons out back.  He says nothing.  I guess because they can't talk to animals the way I can the rest of my family just does not care about their fate the way I do.  I get up and look for my clothes. I contemplate looking for my phone so I can tell my real life boyfriend that I kissed a guy while playing a character in dream but then I can't find my phone.


     I leave the room and go to look for my shoes.  I realize that all my shoes and change of clothes are in my car in the front yard.  One of my nephews wants to know if I am going to go sit for my party soon. He is excited and has made a place specifically for me.  He says that the bagel candies are very good and I see one on my place setting. He is very excited but I tell him that I can't stay.  Everyone seems to be too busy with party plans to worry about the catastrophe outside.  I find some sandals and borrow those.  I am determined to go to home depot or somewhere where I can buy a large enough doll house or playhouse that can house the squirrel-coons.  I don't care if I have to pay $4,000 I would do it for them.  So I leave the house.  It looks like an ice storm out there.  There is flooding in the driveway and ice everywhere.  I look at the neighbor's fence and see a pair of mens shoes sticking out from underneath.  It looks like a dead body at first but then I realize it is just a pile of black men's dress shoes.  I go to my car and see my brother getting things out of the back seat while a limo tries to get around him.  I tell him to get out of the way so the limo can pass.  He tries instead to just stretch over it because it happens to be a tiny version of a limo.  I look and I see a small one person vehicle that looks like a small version of the front half of a car. It is driving on a particularly badly iced and flooded section of the driveway and not getting enough traction.  I go over and help by moving the little half car out of the icy patch with just my hands.  The driver is an architect.  His partner comes over to thank me. He's been to my mother's house before to help her figure out how to fix it up.  I can hardly hear him though over the noise. I don't even know where the noise is coming from.  But we walk a little to get away from the sounds and he tells me that he was disappointed not to be able to fix my mother's place up.  He says he told his partner about the house and he was devastated by how out of date it is.  I told him that my mother is a retired teacher and that there is no way she can afford a major renovation right now.  He pulls me aside and says "I'll show you a teacher's house there's one over there." He points to a playground where I assume he is referring to the children playing teacher. I'm confused.

Messages in Windows

     My boyfriend and I are taking a little vacation. We rent a hotel room in the city for a few days.  Several of us are staying in the same hotel.  These rooms seem really nice.  I have a huge window, the type you see in movies.  I am hanging out and sort of groggy when my boyfriend takes me to the window.  He is looking for something to show me but then there's someone blocking our view.  He says that he got a call from one of ours friends that lives nearby. Apparently he has put some sort of message on his window for us to see.  Unfortunately, there is no way we can see out of our window right now.

     My boyfriend and I find ourselves driving around the neighborhood. I can't see what is so important about this message in this guys window that we need to drive around looking for it.  I look down and realize that some how I left my hotel in nothing but my boxer briefs.  It wouldn't really be a big deal if not for all the marbling in my skin.  Across my torso and my legs there is this chocolate colored swirling patterns that is so bad that it covers a good 50% of my right side.  It is as though I'm made of marble rye or something.  I'm annoyed because the marbling moves around daily and today the effect is pretty striking.  I realize that we need to walk through the hotel lobby nearly naked.  My boyfriend drives the car right into the lobby of the hotel and leaves it and me there.  I assume that he is headed to the elevator.  I get to the nearest elevator I can find.  There are lots of people around but they don't seem to take any notice of me or the way I look.  By the time I get to the elevator the doors are closing.  I curse myself for getting the penthouse (8th floor) room.  As I wait for the elevator to return I notice there are two letters acid etched into the elevator frame.  It says "NM". And all around the elevator it looks are though people have guessed at what those letters might stand for.  Nora's Mom, Neat Mom, Negligent Moos etc..  I am about to think of my own guesses when a few young guys come up to wait for the elevator. They look sort of like drunk college guys on spring break.  They make a comment about how the elevator is not looking like it is coming down.  They tell one of their friends '"If you want to wait here that's fine". This guy apparently is so wasted that he is just standing there staring at me. When I turn around to look at him I realize that I've also been staring at the graffiti for a while in front of a non-functioning elevator.  Damn.  Then I sense this guy standing next to me is lingering here because I am in my underwear and I am suddenly very self-conscious.

     I recall that we left the car is just sitting in the lobby.  I hope that the hotel staff will be able to figure out that it is mine by the license plate but I know that is not how valet service work.  So I go to the concierge desk and I tell them I left my car in the lobby.  The woman behind the desk comes around and asks me if it was a Ford 40. I tell her I have no idea about cars.  We move toward the lobby and we don't see any cars there. It looks like someone must have moved it.  I feel like maybe I look stupid right now asking this woman to help me find my car in the lobby while I stand there with my marble rye body in nothing by boxer briefs.  I grab a tissue off her desk to wipe my nose and realize that all of her tissues are cut into little triangles which are barely usable.

Friday Archives: I guest starred in NPH's dream

I was riding a subway only it was like a row of park benches with crazy homeless guys talking paranoid crap.  I was with Neil Patrick Harris and we were riding uptown.  We turn to this woman and ask her what the next stop is and she is all incoherent.  But she says to watch out for the last stop because there is a kink in the track.  Anyway we end up going way downtown.  I don't think we're even in NYC anymore because it looks like some muddy part of NJ.  The train U-turns and is going back the way we came again.  The lady we were talking to suddenly decides to jump off the train.  I'm freaking out because I think she's killed herself but then I realize she just fell into the mud.  She's fine but covered in mud.  Then the dream gets weird.

The train is winding down in this meadow and Neil Patrick Harris and I are standing there and I say "Don't you know what I symbolize yet?  I'm your conscience."  Which is weird because it's supposed to be my dream.  He gets upset or frustrated or something because suddenly the meadow fills with water.  I guess it is his dream because his mood is affecting the setting.  Everyone from the train including Neil Patrick Harris and I are swimming around and I see this shadow rise out of the water.  It looks like a sea monster or an elephant or something.  Then right in front of us I see this orange thing coming to the surface.  It turns out to be a set of these Alien monsters but with something like crab shells attached to them all red as if the crabs had been cooked.  And then we swim for it because they look pretty frightening.  We swim for this fence and I'm fighting to make a tear in the fabric of the fence.  Which is weird because I'm tearing at it by getting underneath it and to the other side.  So I realize that I'm already through to the other side of the fence and run for the hills.  That's when I wake up.

Time Out.

     I am at home with my mother and little sister. Not my real family of course but in the dream it felt real.  My little sister is about 8 or 11 years old (like I could tell the difference) and she's wearing a blue skirt/jumper type outfit that looks very retro to me.  She has two blonde pig tails sort of like Sailor Moon.  We're in the living room and there's a rack with hooks like those you see in stores.  From the rack hang shrink wrap packaged chicken of all sorts as well as other groceries.  Apparently it is refrigerated.  It's an open refrigerator system I guess.  
     Our mother is busy distracted by television or something and I watch as my little sister goes behind her back and starts tearing the chickens off the hooks and rubbing her face into them.  I grab the chickens away from her right away. I'm sure I yelled something like "What are you doing?!"  I look at the chicken and the packaging is torn and the chicken won't be able to be hung up again.  Another piece had an actual indentation from her mouth but the chicken was fine.  I returned the chicken that was still intact.  I looked at my sister and told her to get on the carpet. The carpeting is a nice bright Caribbean blue color.  I get her face down on the carpet and tell her to stay there until she calms down.  I am giving her a face down time out.  I keep my hand on the small of her back to make sure she stays put.  She is crying in protest and ready to struggle.  Our mother turns around and finally notices what's happening.  Her response is to get a pillow for my sister.

Cockblocked

I am in an attic bedroom. And I am sleeping in because I think my boyfriend is going to drive me to work. But then he comes in and he is just looking at me in a weird way. I ask him if he will still drive me and he doesn't answer. Also it seems to be raining in the room now. I get annoyed with him not answering me and I tell him "Fine! I'll get there myself even if I have to walk there in the rain!" I leave the bedroom and go to the spacious bathroom to pee. As I am standing at the toilet peeing my bf comes up behind me and we start having great sex. At first he's rubbing against me and I'm realize he's not in the right spot. So I guide him to the right area. After that though it's smooth sailing. There's some "I want you inside me" type talk and it's pretty smoking hot standing-in-the-bathroom sex.

Then I hear my fucking co-worker. He's in the bedroom. He's looking for me to ask me something. I suddenly remember that the lock to the bathroom door is broken. Perhaps from when my bf came in or perhaps that's just how he managed to get in. I see my co-worker pushing at the door and I quickly get over there to hold it shut. I tell him that I'm in the bathroom and to go away. Then suddenly I turn around and there is another co-worker in the room. She is looking for something even though she already has something in her hand. I'm completely annoyed because I have a shirt on but otherwise I'm just not dressed. So I decide to sit down, lubed up as I am and just wait until we have some privacy again. I go through my suitcase of clothes but really I'm just waiting to be alone when I wake up and realize I have to really go to work.

Sharing a FlaVorIce

     So I am walking just a short walk around the green of park. I take a path and then get back to where my sisters and their families are waiting in the grass for me.  They seem sleepy because they do not see my dad walking right passed them.  He is walking next to this Asian woman.  She seems like maybe she just immigrated to America. She is playing shy and coy as she offers him some of her FlaVorIce (I love those things and have them in my freezer constantly.).  Her FlaVorIce is cherry red.  She is wearing an orangish number that looks sort of out of date.  As I walk passed them they sort of keep an awkward distance from each other.
      There's a beautiful green park all around me.  The path that I happen to be on cuts into the middle of a grassy field circled with lovely green trees.  The scene reminds me almost of a farm or a conservatory.  I get to my sisters and sit down in the grass with them. They didn't see my dad walk passed them because they are all drowsy and some of them are even snoring.  I turn around and see my dad and his "friend" walking away. I think "No one is going to believe this." So I grab my phone to take a picture but the thing stalls and won't get into camera mode quickly enough.  I curse my glitchy BlackBerry and throw it into the grass.  As I watch my dad grabs the woman's hand and leads her with him to his left following the path I had just taken.  The trees surrounding the field block most of my view of them but I can still see their flirty body language through breaks in the trees.

Tigers

So I don’t quite remember the dream. But what I do remember was that there was a picture of a tiger in my dream. There was a group of people looking at the picture of a tiger and then from behind them I see a real tiger come around slowly approach them. I said “There’s a real tiger!” But the thing was the “real” tiger sort of looked stuffed like a down syndrome Tigger and he’s already a bit slow already so... Oh, and the tiger was lemon yellow with chocolate stripes and he moved very slowly on nubby looking paws.

Baku

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baku_%28spirit%29