Friday Archives: The birds and the bees

I had this dream where my boyfriend and I are looking to photograph some birds hatching.  This guy says he is videotaping some of his birds hatching and we could take pictures if we like.  So we go into the room to take photos.  There are two nests and two adults birds.  They are big like condors or maybe they should be called vultures.  We look into the nests and the birds are already hatched.  There are two chicks in each nest.  We are sort of disappointed.  My boyfriend was more excited about taking the pictures so I was disappointed for him.  Anyway, I notice that the birds don't look quite right and realize that the chicks have the heads of bees.  Black bee heads like a giant honey bee head attached to a chick's body.  They're gross and weird and scary.  I guess I was examining them too close because one of the adult birds starts to approach me.  I back away and grab a chair.  I hold the chair up in front of me to keep the bird at a distance.  It starts to push against the chair.  And I start to sort of panic but I don't dare look away.  I start yelling for my boyfriend to help me and then I wake up.

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Coyotes and Corgis

I wake up and I see that it is 11:14 but I can't tell if that is AM or PM.  I turn the light on and look around the room.  There's a small coyote dog in my room.  It looks like a mix between a corgi and a coyote.  It looks like a wild dog with short legs and mange.  It bites into the knuckle of the middle finger on my right hand.  I grab its muzzle with my left hand and grab its jaw with the rest of my right hand and pull it off my knuckle.  I twist so that its jaw breaks.  Its face looks goofy and sort of pathetic.  It runs off.  I look at my hand and aside from a little tightness in the knuckle my hand is fine.  The thing didn't even break the skin.  I get up and look for some slippers but I realize that there are none that fit me.  I think about how I had allowed some guests to sleep over.  Perhaps it was the morning then since no one is sleeping over now.  I get out to the living room checking the hall bathroom to make sure that the thing hadn't run in there.  I see it walking around the living room.  There is sunlight and it looks like early morning.  I go to the front door and the coyote seems to know what I am doing.  I open the door and it just runs right outside.  My mother is there I guess she saw me let the coyote out.  I tell her that they are vermin.  And I tell her that I often find one or two of them in the house when I wake up in the middle of the night.  She asks me what I do when I find them.  So I tell her quite casually that I either kill them or break their jaw depending on my mood.

Friday Archives: Cottages and Murder

     The first part I remember is standing with my arm wrapped around my young (maybe high school age) black boyfriend's waist.  He's really cute but kind of shy.  He doesn't look like a teenager at all actually.  We're in one of his classrooms.  There are desks and a chalkboard and everything.  There are a few people mingling around.  One of them is a teacher (or a professor) and she's a large black lady with very judgmental eyes.  My boyfriend tenses up in my arm.  And I'm not sure if he's reacting to the race thing, the age thing or the gay thing.  But I feel fine and happy and I think I even lean in to kiss him.  Then I turn around and something else happens that I can't remember.  

     All the desk to the far end of the class are turning into little cottages as I walk through the class.  And at the cottages in front of them are bridesmaids and groomsmen.  They're standing there looking all in the same direction like they're waiting for the bride.  And at every house and even at random places like grave stones there are these bridesmaids and groomsmen.  It was weird and felt very much like I was not welcome there.  So I move on down the road.  As I am walking on one side is a field and on the other is this dark forest.  Something else happens but I can't remember it.

     I am moving through the forest as a bird.  Except I'm more like a swan or a pheasant or a magenta cartoon bird.  Anyway I am flying through the forest that is now actually a swamp and I can't find a clear place to fly out through the canopy.  So I just follow the road and fly as far as I can.  I get to this place where the road ends and there's a river on one side and a rock wall on the other.  I'm examining the plants that make up the canopy and they look like they're full of helium or something only they have these vines all wrapped around each other and to the trees.  So I can't actually get through.  Then something else happens.  

     I fly back the way I came and end up in the same dead end.  This time there's a metal bunker or something and I land on that.  I see a few guys in uniform mingling around the bunker.  They have bright shiny swords and one of them is Tom Cruise or looks like him from the Valkyrie ads.  I turn into a little girl in a magenta dress and I am scared of these guys.  When they spot me they point their swords at me and I know they're going to kill me.  Only they shoot their guns that I didn't even see them holding.  I feel the bullets hit my stomach and legs and chest.  I feel them stab me with their swords.   The entire time that I'm being shot and stabbed I am trying to wake up from the dream but I just keep opening my eyes inside the dream.  One of the guys (a younger guy) leans in to check if I'm breathing.  I'm panting into his face.  It's pretty horrible.  They're content that I won't survive and enter the bunker.  I feel myself gurgling up blood and spitting it out and I'm still just this little girl in a blood colored dress.  It was pretty horrible and gruesome.  I roll myself over and try to get up and climb the mountain but realize I can just wake up instead.

Squirrel-coons and near incest.

   There was a storm last night. One of the four giant three story metal lanterns that hang from the four beech trees in the yard has fallen during the night.  Its metal frame is hanging in the branches of one of the other beech trees.  The forest creatures are going crazy. I see them running around in a panic.  They are talking about getting everyone to a temporary shelter.  Yes, apparently I can understand the animals.  The lantern that fell was home to these little raccoon/squirrel looking clan of animals.  They are very light and fluffy looking and much smaller than raccoons.  They turn to their leader for advice.  He is the blue one with the extra long ears.  The other forest residents are asking him what they can do.  He says that many lives were lost in the night but they must press on.  They gather in the yard and talk. I feel terrible and go inside to see what's going to be done.  


   Inside it seems my mother is going to call someone to remove the lantern from the branches of the beech tree. I figure that is a good start.  I am hanging out in the back room.  I am suddenly very exhausted and lie down on the bed next to this guy.  He's my step brother and he is not at all like me.  We have these weekly family meetings where we're essentially forced to listen to bull shit. I tune it out so all I remember is how hot my step brother is. He has jet black hair parted in the middle running down to nearly his shoulders.  His skin is tanned not from the tanning bed but more like he's at least part Hispanic.  He is sort of muscular, more from being athletic than working out.  Right now he is face down on the bed without a shirt on in nothing but his tight blue jeans.  I roll over on the bed and our skin touches.  Soon enough we're making out and I notice the top button of his jeans are undone.  He asks me what I want from the meetings but all I can think about is how I can maneuver my lips around his cock so I say, "To get sweaty." He grins and says that's not what we meant. As I am admiring his abs I see from the corner of my eye that there is a woman half asleep on the other side of the slightly open door. It is Mamacita from Real Chance of Love 2.  She is lying on a cot with her long black hair.  I whisper to my step brother that Mamacita is right there.  We both know that she has a big mouth and with my step brother being "straight" and all we stop making out.  It sort of bothers me that he's not out but it's also sort of hot that I'm the only guy he's been with.  We talk about what will be done for the squirrel-coons out back.  He says nothing.  I guess because they can't talk to animals the way I can the rest of my family just does not care about their fate the way I do.  I get up and look for my clothes. I contemplate looking for my phone so I can tell my real life boyfriend that I kissed a guy while playing a character in dream but then I can't find my phone.


     I leave the room and go to look for my shoes.  I realize that all my shoes and change of clothes are in my car in the front yard.  One of my nephews wants to know if I am going to go sit for my party soon. He is excited and has made a place specifically for me.  He says that the bagel candies are very good and I see one on my place setting. He is very excited but I tell him that I can't stay.  Everyone seems to be too busy with party plans to worry about the catastrophe outside.  I find some sandals and borrow those.  I am determined to go to home depot or somewhere where I can buy a large enough doll house or playhouse that can house the squirrel-coons.  I don't care if I have to pay $4,000 I would do it for them.  So I leave the house.  It looks like an ice storm out there.  There is flooding in the driveway and ice everywhere.  I look at the neighbor's fence and see a pair of mens shoes sticking out from underneath.  It looks like a dead body at first but then I realize it is just a pile of black men's dress shoes.  I go to my car and see my brother getting things out of the back seat while a limo tries to get around him.  I tell him to get out of the way so the limo can pass.  He tries instead to just stretch over it because it happens to be a tiny version of a limo.  I look and I see a small one person vehicle that looks like a small version of the front half of a car. It is driving on a particularly badly iced and flooded section of the driveway and not getting enough traction.  I go over and help by moving the little half car out of the icy patch with just my hands.  The driver is an architect.  His partner comes over to thank me. He's been to my mother's house before to help her figure out how to fix it up.  I can hardly hear him though over the noise. I don't even know where the noise is coming from.  But we walk a little to get away from the sounds and he tells me that he was disappointed not to be able to fix my mother's place up.  He says he told his partner about the house and he was devastated by how out of date it is.  I told him that my mother is a retired teacher and that there is no way she can afford a major renovation right now.  He pulls me aside and says "I'll show you a teacher's house there's one over there." He points to a playground where I assume he is referring to the children playing teacher. I'm confused.

Tigers

So I don’t quite remember the dream. But what I do remember was that there was a picture of a tiger in my dream. There was a group of people looking at the picture of a tiger and then from behind them I see a real tiger come around slowly approach them. I said “There’s a real tiger!” But the thing was the “real” tiger sort of looked stuffed like a down syndrome Tigger and he’s already a bit slow already so... Oh, and the tiger was lemon yellow with chocolate stripes and he moved very slowly on nubby looking paws.